


Too small

by DarkHorseAsh



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Amy doesn't understand but she's trying ok, Amy isn't much more OK, Autism, Autism Spectrum, But he's trying, Doctor is a mess, Non-Sexual Age Play, Panic Attacks, Thumb-sucking, Weeping Angels - Freeform, the doctor is Not Ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-28 04:29:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15040748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkHorseAsh/pseuds/DarkHorseAsh
Summary: When Amy and The Doctor narrowly survive the weeping angels, the Doctor finds himself struggling to keep certain parts of himself hidden from the insightful redhead.





	1. It Begins

They were alive! That was the first thought the doctor had as he led Amy back to the TARDIS after escaping the maze. He was fidgeting, playing with his long hands with quiet breaths of desperation but he didn’t give himself a moment to note that no, he wasn’t all that ok before starting towards the library with quick, nervous breaths. His fingers skimmed the books, hands flapping up in a quick movement before he forced them to stay down again, skimming the gallifreyan section with increasing frustration in his eyes as his hands moved of their own accord again. Unfortunately, the moment he put his effort into keeping his hands still and the rest of his movement still, he tumbled over his own feet and slammed into the wall with a howl, spinning away from it and tucking his now injured arm against his body. 

The moment of pain was enough that the walls he had been using to block off the emotions that had been building since the moment he had realized Amy might die. “NO!” He yelled, suddenly, angrily, spinning and slamming both hands into the wall, sending books scattering as his hands connected with the wood again, twisting viciously to strike the next wall of books, ignoring the pain shooting up his leg as a particularly heavy book of latin poetry struck his right knee, ignoring it until he went to strike out again with his hands, ignoring the numbness in his mind and the miserable shaking of his limbs, until his leg buckled and sent him against the bookcase, knocking it to the floor and causing him to have to duck away with a yelp. 

He forced himself back up, ignoring the tears staining the collar of his shirt as he shook, body vibrating in fear and pain as he paced, hands ripping at his hair in absolute desperation, clawing at his skull as he mumbled “I’m sorry I’m sorry it wasn’t my fault I wasn’t there.” He sobbed, legs buckling as he fell to his knees, heart aching with the memories of the young men who had died, of the angel using the boy’s voice. Of the moment he knew exactly what had happened to them. 

The Doctor’s damaged leg gave out, leaving him curled up on his side on the floor. He rocked feebly, sobbing desperately as he cradled his throbbing arm to his chest, unable to stop the emotions rushing through his mind. He whimpered, overwhelmed with the pain and nausea rushing through his body. The shaking man struggled to his feet, fumbling his way towards the bathroom. The flashing lights of the halls left him moaning in agony, unable to keep himself moving before he fell sideways and threw up.

He had never felt this miserable. The TARDIS had dimmed the lights, but he could still feel the imprint of them on his eyes as he lay shoved under the nearest section of the TARDIS he could possibly fit under. Time passed in fleeting moments, the cold metal under his shoulder, the shaking pain of his chest as his breath stuttered and heaved, the agony flaring in his mind until everything finally faded away.

He didn’t feel well. The worst of the agony in his head had melted, leaving him feeling shaky and fuzzy as he stumbled the rest of the way to his room, ignoring the damp feeling between his shaking legs. Slowly changing into soft clothing, sweatpants and a loose t-shirt was exhausting, but he finally made it to curl up on the floor, shivering violently as one thumb had found its way into his mouth. The Doctor quickly fell into an exhausted sleep, blanket tugged half over his aching body and hand never leaving his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is far less ok than he is pretending to be, and Amy isn't nearly as oblivious as he hopes. And then confusion is had.

He woke slowly, stretching out his aching frame and freezing at the wetness around his crotch. “Damn it.” he growled, flexing out his bruised forearm as he limped to the bathroom. He cleaned himself with practiced hands, quietly cursing his brain as he did so. “Oh crap.” he breathed, realizing that he had not told Amy where he was and she was certain to be quite irritated at the tired man for vanishing so close to the catastrophe that had been their week thus far. His mind felt fragile, even under the TARDIS’s soothing croons as she tried to comfort the exhausted boy. He grimaced, knowing that his weaknesses had every chance of making themselves known again if anything else happened.

It had been a long time, at least a century by Earth years, since it had happened. He had been captured, which wasn’t altogether unusual given his lifestyle, but these captors hadn’t tried to kill him, or threatened him, or imprisoned him. No, in a desperate effort to truly get rid of him for good, they had turned him into a small child in body and mind, probably no more than a toddler. It had been two weeks before he had been rescued and changed back, but the damage had been done. Ever since then, he had found himself with a childish part of his mind that would sometimes take over, leaving the usually bravado-filled timelord nothing more than a helpless creature.

While he had been able to control this part of his mind in the past, only allowing it to come out alone in his room where he was safe and very much alone, but the Time War and the trauma after it seemed to have shaken his control. He found himself dropping at inconvenient times, and struggling to hold onto his fragile control in stressful situations. He managed to hide it from his previous companions, but his own childish nature in this body seemed to feed his little side, leaving him feeling far more vulnerable.

Nudging his way into his typical tie and slacks combination felt comforting, warm and soothing on the aching man’s body. His arm and leg were quickly healing, due to his advanced biology, but he wasn’t at all fully healed yet. “Ow.” he mumbled tiredly, sending a quick message to ask the TARDIS where Amy was. Location in mind, he set off for the console room at a brisk pace that would hide his limp. 

“Amelia! I hope you slept well.” She looked up, something like suspicion flashing over her eyes. “I slept fine, Doctor.” Where did you go last night?” She demanded, ignoring the sharp grimace on the doctor’s face. “Sorry, I got a very important message from a very important planet that needed me to solve some kinda interplanetary issue.” Amy raised her eyebrow, clearly not trusting the answer as she spoke again.

“I was thinking, perhaps we could go back to Earth today?” She asked hopefully. He froze for a moment, forcing down the overwhelming panicked thoughts of “she wants to leave.” “Yeah, of course we can.” He forced a grin onto his face, scrambling to pull the various levers and buttons that he needed to hit to get them back to earth. 

Amy was off doing something, the Doctor hadn’t managed to hear her answer, and so he was left alone standing in front of the control panel alone. The moment the door closed, his fragile control began to drop. He all but bolted back to his room, pulling out his secret box from it's spot behind a perception filter. He already had his shirt and pants off, ignoring the scars multing his young-looking body as he got dressed. Originally he had tried to wear his normal clothes, but his younger self seemed to despise that plan and so he had been forced into the humiliating idea of buying anything a toddler would be willing to wear. 

Once he had himself dressed and toys out so he wouldn’t end up destroying anything, a warm bottle of milk near him, and the dreaded nappy. It had taken him years of accidents when he was small to even consider it but what really made him do it was the fact that it made it too easy for someone else to figure it out. He couldn’t go through that much bedding or clothes without one of his companions noticing, and they couldn’t ever find out. Sighing, he finished buttoning up the footie pajamas and let himself go.

Amy got home several hours later, shaking the rain from her beautiful red hair as she hung her coat up and scanned the TARDIS for the Doctor. Not seeing anything, she started down one of the hallways, wanting to make sure that her Doctor was alright after seeing him look upset before. She walked slowly, surprised when she found herself in front of a door she did not recognize. This being Amy, she abruptly opened it, unable to stop a small noise of surprise at what she found. 

See, the TARDIS had never appreciated the Doctor insisting on hiding himself, and she was constantly worried about what would happen if her thief had lost control in a battle or running for his life or any of the other Numerous situations he found himself in on a regular basis. So if she had maybe nudged Amy in the direction of a door she had placed way more centrally than usual, she wasn’t telling.

Amy stared in shock at the scene in front of her. The doctor was curled on his side, a bottle in his mouth and a awkwardly wrapped around him, not hiding the onesie the man was wearing. “D-doctor?” She asked quietly, making a worried noise when the man jerked upright, some kind of absolute terror in his eyes as he bolted away from her, taking off down the hallway leaving the confused woman looking around his room in absolute shock.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't love this chapter so if anyone has any suggestions on things for me to change pleeeease tell me. I also don't have a ton of experience with littles so if I've gotten something wrong please tell me so I can change it thank you and enjoy

Amy hesitated in the center of the room, before turning and hurrying back to her own room. She didn’t want to chase after the Doctor without knowing exactly what she was dealing with, and the terror on his face had shaken her enough that she knew she needed to avoid causing it ever again. Thankfully, her laptop worked even on the TARDIS, thanks to a zap from the sonic screwdriver, and so she retreated to the computer, opened up a search function, and started to work.

Twenty minutes of TARDIS-guided, since the TARDIS had made very sure to get her on the right websites, Amy sat back in her chair. For some reason, the brief reading about what was happening with her friend didn’t disgust her like she had originally worried it would. Instead, she just felt a pang of worry about the timelord being alone when he was clearly little. Standing, she hurried out into the hallway in quick, confident movements. “C’mon Doctor, where are you.” she breathed worriedly. “Where did you go.”

The TARDIS hesitated, agonizing for a long moment before flicking on her lights in a sharp flickering pattern to lure the young companion down the hallway. She moved quickly, and the TARDIS just prayed that the Doctor wouldn’t hate her too badly when she found out that she had guided the young woman to find him.

He was scared. The closet he had thrown himself into was very small and very dark and he was terrified but he couldn’t come out, because they would hurt him. The Doctor whined, feeling very small as he pressed himself as far into the back of the closet as he could, sucking furiously on the pacifier attached to his onesie. He felt tiny, vulnerable and terrified as the door creaked, forcing down a desperate cry of terror as a soft pair of eyes and familiar red hair peaked around the door.

Amy’s heart broke slightly as the Doctor whined, his eyes huge and vulnerable as they blinked up at her from the corner of the closet the TARDIS had led her to. “Hey sweetie.” she murmured gently, opening the door to let the light from the hallway stream in. “It’s ok, I won’t hurt you.” she promised softly. He hesitated, blinking up at her as she offered out a hand, letting the boy decide if he would take it. 

“Don’ ‘ate me?” he mumbled against his own will, too desperate to be hugged by the kind-eyed human girl to listen to the small part of his brain that insisted that this was a very bad idea. She softened, giving a firm shake of her head, and that was all he needed to surge up into her arms with a whimper of distress.

Amy made a noise of surprise as she found her arms full of shaking timelord, feeling the shutters running through his thin body. She grimaced, vaguely as usual noting that he really was too thin as she stood, tugging the boy up into her arms as she moved. “Shh, it's ok buddy, lets go get you all cleaned up.” she cooed, since the closet had been filthy and the larger than average child huddled into her side was in a filthy onesie. She walked slowly, since he was clinging so tightly to her as they made it back to his room.

She glanced over, reaching to tug the Doctor’s hand from his mouth as she led him into the room. He whined, but she gave a gentle shake of her head. “Nope, that’s icky buddy. You have a paci right here.” she smiled, suddenly glad that she had babysat in her teens as she popped the pacifier into his mouth. Now that they were back in his room, she quickly went through the little stuff on the floor, blinking when she saw the nappies and turning to look at him. “Hey, sweetie? Do you know about how old are you?” she asked aloud, realizing that was probably valuable information.


End file.
